this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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