OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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