I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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