I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize