They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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