I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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