The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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