haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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