and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize