I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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