I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize