you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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