So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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