we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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