i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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