walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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