i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize