That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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