He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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