I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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