If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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