in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize