hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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