so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize