When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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