While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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