We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize