I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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