Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize