Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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