If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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