At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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