Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize