I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize