I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize