idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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