Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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