I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize