Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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