ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize