Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize