Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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