my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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She bit a glass in half.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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