You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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