How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bring me that man meat
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize