The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize