Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize