i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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