Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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