Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize