Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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